(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
(WHINING)
Do you mind hurrying up
in there?
Seriously, what is
taking so long?
Did you fall in?
I need to go.
Come on, come on,
come on!
Yo Rob, what's up?
Oh! Doing the pee-pee
dance, bro?
Nice, I love that dance.
Doing the pee-pee dance?
I invented the pee-pee dance.
Oh, yeah!
Oh! I too wish to participate
in the dance of the pee-pee.
(SOBBING)
But I do not know how!
It's quite simple, girl.
I'll show you.
♪ Step to the left,
now, step to the right
♪ Put your knees together
and squeeze 'em tight
♪ Keep your arms
moving side to side
♪ Try to hold it in
till it's time to ride
♪ Knock, knock
Let me in
Knock, knock
♪ Let me in,
I gotta go, uh
Knock, knock
♪ Let me in
Knock, knock
♪ Let me in
I gotta go
♪ Keep moving now
Don't you stop
♪ Hold it in till
it's time to drop
♪ Let me in
before I pop
♪ Too late
Gotta grab the mop
♪ Knock, knock
Let me in
Knock, knock
♪ Let me in,
I gotta go, uh
Knock, knock
♪ Let me in, knock, knock
Let me in, I gotta go ♪
-(FLUSHING)
-Aw! Don't tell me I missed
the pee-pee dance.
Titans, it's time we had
a bathroom meeting.
A bathroom meeting?
Yes, you guys are spending
way too much time in there.
As Titans, we spend on
average three percent of
our time fighting crime,
seven percent dancing,
18 percent doing food
related activities
and the rest of the
Titans' time is spent
in the bathroom.
This cannot go on.
Ah, can you repeat all
that stuff you just said?
I was in the bathroom.
-(GRUNTING)
-(SHRIEKING)
As of this moment,
I'm instituting
bathroom rationing.
No lavatory visit will
last more than
five minutes.
(GASPS)
You can't do that to us.
(GASPS) That time frame
will not be sufficient.
There's so much stuff we need
to do in there, bro!
And, what exactly is that?
It's where I tap dance.
CYBORG:
It's where I go to sing.
(SCATTING)
BEAST BOY: It's where I do my
steam painting, the most
temporary of art forms.
Perfection!
Aw!
STARFIRE:
It is where I create my
favorite recipes.
This will be the most
delicious pot of
the chili.
(MUNCHING)
That is not what
the bathroom is for.
It is a place of
serious business.
In and out.
Nothing in there should
take more than five minutes.
Ten second hand-washes,
one minute showers,
four minute shaves.
It takes you four minutes,
to shave what?
I have very thick facial hair.
Oh, yes.
This is coming in very nicely.
That, my friend,
is a moustache.
Don't you understand?
The bathroom is a
special place for us.
It's a place of magic.
Magic? Pfft. Please.
It is true, Robin.
Humankind did not advance
into the modern age
until they encountered
the first bathroom.
Where it came from,
nobody knows.
I do.
We built them,
with pipes and tile.
And, just to prove
everything you can possibly
do in a bathroom
can be accomplished
in under five minutes...
Observe!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM BLARING)
(ALL SCREAM)
See, five minutes.
Why did the bathroom explode?
Well, that's what happens
when the timer hits zero.
What, you've never seen a
timer hit zero, before?
The whole room is on the fire.
Yes, it is.
Now, that I've demonstrated
what's possible,
I'll be holding you all
to the same standard.
-Oh, why the explosion?
-Remember, five minutes.
I will be watching.
(TIMER BEEPING)
-Done.
-(ALARM BLARING)
(SNIFFING)
-(BEEPING)
-(DOG WHINES)
(ALARM BLARING)
(WHIMPERING)
(TIMER BEEPING)
(ALARM BLARING)
It's bubble time, baby.
(TIMER BEEPING)
(ALARM BLARING)
Titans, great news!
Bathroom usage is down
90 percent.
(GROANS)
What has happened?
Your hygiene!
Your five minute standard
killed the magic for us.
We don't even bother to go
into the bathroom now.
I haven't tap danced in weeks.
You can tap dance anywhere.
The bathroom is where you
go to wash your filthy bodies,
and do other unspeakable acts.
Titans, go.
Clean yourselves up.
I mean, come on.
(ALL GROANING)
I don't understand
what makes the bathroom
so special for you guys.
Then, please come with us,
Robin.
And we'll show you the magic.
(GAGS)
Fine, if it'll restore
your strawberry scent.
All right.
Show me why you need more than
five minutes in the bathroom.
We will, bro.
But first, take this
microphone.
That's a toothbrush.
(SCOFFS)
You have so much to learn.
♪ If you want to sing
♪ Sing on, sing on,
sing everything
♪ If you want to dream
♪ Dream of, dream of,
everything you are ♪
(LAUGHING)
(CLAPPING)
(GURGLING)
Ah! So good.
Guys, you were right.
This place is
absolutely magical.
The five minutes standard
is hereby abolished.
Ya! Booyacity!
-(CHEERING)
-Hurray! Hurray!
If you don't mind,
I'd like a moment alone
with the bathroom.
We understand.
Take your time.
-(OWL HOOTING)
-(CROWING)
Oh! Those water burritos
are not sitting right.
-What's going on?
-Robin's been in there
all morning.
ROBIN: Correction.
I never left.
Dude, what are you doing
in there?
Just enjoying the magic.
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)
Whoo-hoo! Yipee!
Ha, ha, ha!
We never stayed in there,
this long.
Robin is abusing
the bathroom magic.
I want some magic too.
I say we go in.
Sorry. But, this bathroom
is occupied.
Robin, one way or another,
we're getting you out of here.
Never.
(YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
(ROARING)
If you want this bathroom,
you'll have to
take it from me.
VOICE: Enough!
Who said that?
It is I, Bathroom.
You may call me John.
-(GASPING)
-You can talk?
-How is that even possible?
-What's up, John?
As you have always sensed,
I and all of the bathrooms
come from a place
of magic, you see.
Where's that, John?
We are survivors of
a distant world,
destroyed long ago.
We thought we had found
a home here, you see.
A world that appreciated us
as much as we did it.
But, you ruined it all.
Sorry, John.
Stuff your sorrys
in a sack.
(GRUNTS)
You have turned a place
of magical fun into
one of strife.
Now I, and all my kind shall
leave this world, forever.
(GROANING)
(CHICKEN SQUAWKING)
Magical.
Where are they going?
They're going home,
Beast Boy.
They're going home.
I believe John said
their home was destroyed.
Then, I don't know.
So, what do we do now?
Yeah.
I mean, I really gotta go.
(PEE-PEE DANCE SONG PLAYING)
(BELL DINGS)
(KISSES) Perfection.
Thanksgiving style.
Whoa! Thanksgiving!
The best holiday
after Christmas, Halloween,
Valentine's, New Year's
and my birthday. Oh, yeah!
Sweet potatoes
with marshmallows on top.
Classy. (SLURPS)
Ooh, I cannot wait!
Dig in!
(GROANS)
-Ahhh!
-(SCREAMS)
Huh?
There will be no digging
until I say so.
No one can eat until
a very special guest arrives.
Batman!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
He trained me to be
a master fighter, detective,
and host of medium-size
holiday gatherings.
That's why everything
needs to be perfect
when he arrives.
The decor, the place settings,
the seating arrangement,
and most importantly,
the food.
(BUBBLING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait! What is that?
My first attempt
at the Thanksgiving
dish of sides, Robin.
It is the Burp-Glurp.
-Some say that its struggles
in one's throat
-(MUTTERING)
adds to its deliciousness.
-Sounds tasty. But, no.
-(GASPS)
(SHRIEKS)
I know Bat visits
stress you out,
but just relax.
Think about
what you're thankful for.
(EXCLAIMS)
-(ELEVATOR DINGS)
-Ooh! He's here!
Hello, hello.
Happy Thanksgiving,
puny mortals.
Trigon.
You are not welcome here,
you evil demon!
You're not
on the seating chart.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, I won't be a bother.
I'm not here as a demon.
I'm here as a dad.
I wanted to make sure
my little lump has
a perfect Turkey Day.
Ugh!
So nice to see you, Dad.
Can't wait to see
how you ruin this holiday.
I promise I will not devour
any souls this year.
Only that succulent bird.
My goodness!
Cooked to perfection.
Yes, it is.
Hmm, I guess we can make room.
I, uh, actually invited
some extra guests too.
-What?
-I had to, dude.
It's a homeless family.
Aw. Well, then of course
we can make room.
-Where are they?
-Right there.
(SQUEAKING)
Ahhh!
You said
it was a homeless family.
Those are filthy rats!
Yeah. A homeless family
of filthy rats.
They're destroying
my perfect turkey.
(BELCHES)
(GRUNTING)
(SQUEAKING)
Thanks a lot, homeless rats.
Thanksgiving is ruined.
I can help out
with a new turkey.
All I need is for the biggest,
strongest, meatiest Titan
to join me in the kitchen.
Oh, oh, that's me! I'm strong,
and you want to talk meaty?
Give this a little pinch.
-Mmm.
-(SQUISHING)
You will do nicely.
So, how are we
going to cook this bird?
Deep fry? Smoke it?
I'm a grilling man myself.
Got built-in tongs.
(CLINKING)
I have a secret family recipe.
I want to know the secret.
Well, if you promise
not to tell.
I turn you into a turkey
and cook you,
and we eat you.
That's it.
(SMACKING LIPS)
(GULPS)
Come on, come on, where is he?
Gravy's almost ready.
He should be here soon.
(GASPS) Whoa!
-What, more rats?
-Yeah.
They loved your cooking
so much,
they invited their entire
extended family,
who are also homeless
and filthy.
(SQUEAKING)
There's not enough food
or seats.
They need to leave, right now.
Aw, they won't eat much.
Just enough to fill their
little disgusting rat bellies.
(GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING)
(SLOSHING)
(GRUMBLES) They can stay.
But no more rats.
And don't let them gnaw
on the decorations.
I spent a lot of time on them.
(YELLING)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-Behold!
The Thanksgiving rite
of the foot and the ball!
-Scoredown! Ahhh!
-(GRUNTS)
CHEERLEADERS: Be aggressive!
-B-E aggressive!
-(LAUGHING)
(COUGHING) Starfire,
what are you doing?
I am contributing
a traditional
Thanksgiving game.
(GRUNTING) Punt-off!
(ROBIN GRUNTS)
(CRASHES)
(YELLING)
Dad, what are you doing?
-Ah, honey, you're here!
-(GOBBLES)
Be a dear and help me
chop off your friend's
skinny bird head, okay?
(GOBBLING)
(GROANS) This always happens.
You show up acting all nice,
but then you commit
some unspeakable evil.
Aw, I just wanted
my daughter's Turkey Day
to actually have a turkey.
Oh, so that
makes it okay to eat
one of my friends?
I chose the one
you like least.
-I like Robin the least.
-We can eat him, too.
(SNARLS)
(GROWLING)
(SQUAWKING)
Dad!
-ROBIN: Any minute now.
-(BEEPS)
Decorations in place,
food... Whoa!
What?
(GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING)
Beast Boy!
I told you
not to invite more rats.
-I didn't, dude.
-Then why are there more rats?
(RATS SQUEAKING)
Miracle of life, bro.
Mama rats plus papa rats
make baby rats.
Batman is going to be here
at any moment.
What is he going to think?
Don't you know
he likes bats, not rats!
Bats, not rats!
-Bats! Not rats.
-(BUZZING)
(GOBBLING)
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMING)
(GOBBLING)
-(GULPS)
-TRIGON: (LAUGHING)
Slippery rascal.
I've got him,
I've got him now.
Get away from my friend.
(SQUAWKING)
Thanksgiving needs a turkey.
(GRUNTS)
-(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SIGHS) Fine.
Just eat Cyborg.
You never listen to me anyway.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
All I wanted was for today
to be perfect.
Perfect for who, Dad?
Well, if your
"perfect" Thanksgiving
doesn't include
eating one of your friends,
then so be it.
Thanks, Dad.
Now, change Cyborg back
and let's go
get ready for dinner.
Oh, uh... I can't.
He's stuck as a turkey
until at least Christmas.
Magic. (CHUCKLES)
Pretty crazy, huh?
The decorations are up,
the table is set.
-Perfect!
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
But, Robin,
where will you sit?
(GROANS)
I forgot a seat for me!
Don't worry, brah,
we saved you one
at the kids' table.
The kids' table?
Not the kids' table.
I got to sit here every year.
Rickety table legs that
don't even match my...
(GRUMBLING) Oh!
Let us commence the feast.
No! I said nobody eats
until Batman arrives.
Where is he going to sit?
He's Batman!
He sits where he likes!
Now, while we wait,
everybody just...
Just say what
you're thankful for.
I'll start.
I'm thankful that
I was able to put together
a perfect Thanksgiving.
Even though some people
tried to ruin it.
(GROANS)
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm thankful
for my cool new rat friends
who understand the point
of a holiday actually...
(COUGHS) Robin.
I'm thankful my dad
turned my friend
into a turkey.
I'm thankful to be here
with my daughter,
even if she doesn't appreciate
my gifts to her.
(GOBBLING)
Well said, my juicy, meaty,
delicious friend.
(SLURPING)
I can't help myself.
-I need to eat
that robot turkey!
-(SQUAWKS)
(DISHES CLATTERING)
Food fight!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING) Scoredown!
Take that!
You're all
off the seating chart!
(LAUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING)
(GOBBLES)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Yeah?
I guess I ruined Thanksgiving
for everyone.
Yes, you did.
But everyone's
terrible actions have
helped me understand
the true meaning
of this celebration.
And that is why I am thankful
that you are
our leader, Robin,
and my friend.
(LAUGHS)
I'm thankful you always
make me feel better
about myself.
Want to help me
clean up my mess?
What? How?
It is the Christmas miracle
of the Thanksgiving.
Who did this?
It was the rats.
(SQUEAKING)
They say that usually
they don't have a place to go
or food, or even a chance
to see their family.
(SQUEAKING)
Tonight, though, they had
all that and more.
(SQUEAKING)
They think this was
the best Thanksgiving ever.
And to say thanks,
they wanted to give
something back.
A Thanksgiving feast.
(ALL GASP)
Amazing!
But what about the turkey?
Oh, Dad and I
took care of that.
(GULPS)
-(AX SWISHING)
-(SQUAWKS)